Who the hell are you?
Emily C., of course. I was born on March eighteenth, nineteen eighty-five, and I work as a systems analyst.
What kind of name is 'Chew?' Are you Asian?
Nope, the name's Norse at root and Welsh by development. (I hear this one a whole lot.)
Who is "Demosthenes?"
My online alter ego. When I was a kid, I was a nervous wreck of a stammerer, and so a quick bit of research on a certain dusty old Greek beatnik showed that we both had a little something in common. Yes, I will respond to my nick in real-life conversation, though I prefer my real name.
How do I pronounce it?
"De-MAWZ-then-eez," but if you're saying it real life, your best bet is probably "Moz.".
Do you still trip over your words?
Only when I'm anxious about something; I've pretty much got it under control now.
Care to tell me about your opinions and things?
I'm more than happy to share: I'm an existentialist, pacifist, pro-legalization, pro-choice, anti-monopoly, gun nut, pro-free-software, atheistic liberal nutcase Goon. I am of the opinion that speech should be free no matter what, and that Chicago Pizza is the best in town. I like to argue, since it allows me to better learn to back up my own views, and it opens me up to learning new things.
Macs or PCs?
Macs all the way. I use zsh as my shell and tend to do my coding in Vim. More machines are always in the works.
Aren't you afraid that your employers will read this FAQ and think you're a huge nerd?
This is why I work in IT.
What's all this sod about becoming a starving artist?
If I don't end up raking in the cash money in the tech field, I'd like to get into video editing, practical special effects, electronic music, or, on a long shot, directing. I've always had a pretty steady hand when it comes to applying stage blood.
What's that noise?
Music. I like to play with Bessie the Fender Precision bass guitar, miniature synthesizers, vocoders, audio samplers, and music software. (Either that, or I just fell over.)
What's in the tank?
That'd be Geirsteinn, the Solomon Island ground boa. He's from S&S Exotics and is quite tame.
How big is he going to get? What does he eat?
I'm looking at approximately 5' long. He eats anole-scented mice which are delivered to my door frozen, much like a steak-of-the-month club.
What's in the cage?
Those are Sari, Layla, and Bijoux, the domestic rats. They eat leftovers, have an intelligence level comparable to a three year old child, and are extremely clean animals.
Won't the snake eat the rats?
Geirsteinn has been on frozen food for his entire life. He wouldn't have the faintest idea as to what to do with a live rat. Also, the animals live in seperate rooms; they may well not even be aware of each others' existances.
Don't you ever sleep at night?
I keep odd hours. If I have a choice in the matter, I'll usually go to sleep as the sun's coming up, and won't wake up until the afternoon. It's a hard lifestyle to keep while I'm working full-time.
Star Wars or Star Trek?
Star Wars, hands down...though I've got my weak spot for Mr. Spock.
Where'd your mohawk go?
It went the way of the crappy paycheck. It was a lot of work, shaving the sides down, not to mention the unbelievable amount of effort required to get twelve inches of hair to stand on end, all night, despite dancing, headbanging, and the general scampering around I tend to do.
Is your hair color real?
Much of the time, no. I used to dye my head hair different colors every few weeks or so: as of this writing, it's been sky blue, maroon, blonde, dark brown, white, purple, green, bright red, orange, navy blue, black, and auburn. I'm surprised that it hasn't all fallen out yet. Yes, I know it doesn't match my eyebrows. Guess what else it doesn't match!
Got any body modifications?
A handful of piercings: gauged ear piercings, a navel piercing, and lower lip ring. I've got one small blackwork tattoo of pi at the base of my spine, done by Ron at Chameleon Body arts, a larger (currently unfinished) blackwork of the Fenris wolf on the back of my right calf, done by Mick at Pino Brothers Ink, and part of Ralph Steadman's Fear & Loathing In Las VegasBat Country illustration on my left ankle, by Kurt Brown at Pino Brothers Ink as well.
Can I meet you?
I highly doubt that I've got this much of a fanbase, but here goes nothing. I'll generally agree to meet people locally, preferably at some sort of public event. Drop me an email if you're local or soon to be.
Can I bum a cigarette?
Sure. Hope you like Camel Lights.
Can I buy you a drink?
Okay, this one isn't as frequently asked as I might like. I love a good dark import beer, decent whiskey on the rocks, or if it's been a bad day, then a Jäger and Red Bull will rocket me to the moon and have me asking for a piggy-back ride in no time.
Why are you such an angry, bitter bitch?
"I live like this 'cause I like it, and I've seen too much to pretend. You can't ignore the beauty in the things that you love, like you can't stand the hatred and the lies." Steve Albini.
What happened to all the questions about Simmons College?
It was a pretty miserable place to be, and I ran out of money, so I dropped out.
Boy-howdy, are you ever butch!
That's not a question, you fairy.
